Age approaches...

I realized today that I am almost twenty-four.

This was an interesting realization, because at my age, my mother had three children and was well-established in running her own home. Me, I am a workoholic, I definitely do not run my own home, and to me, kids are usually the whining, screaming, or crying noises I hear at stores. (Okay, while that statement is true, I really don't hate kids! Really.) Life seems to have taken forever to get to this point, yet has still gone by so fast. It feels like yesterday when I was standing in line to get my college ID picture taken, and that was nearly 6 years ago!

This looming agingness of mine seems to have made me pretty contemplative. For example, I was sad the other day, and someone very close to me had reminded me that this attitude can and will affect others, whether I mean it to or not. I thought, what? Let me be sad if I want! In essence, I still was acting like that whiny little kid. Things were not going my way and I figure, well, if I am upset enough, maybe things will? Who knows! Whatever the case it did not work, in fact quite the opposite happened.

I have been learning a great deal about what God requires of me with my attitude and my conduct. It has been a hard lesson to learn; quite humbling. Somehow I find myself trying to justify my thoughts and actions because of pain and heartache, because of fatigue or being over-occupied. I cannot blame other people for my actions, as I am responsible for them. I learn now, that no matter what I think I feel like doing, I must rise up and bless His name. It's not about me.